nothing is secure, nothing keeps.

i'd never wish anything big, anything major to happen in my life.

i thank god for making it bad, making everything so difficult. (not being sarcastic, seriously)

these ups and downs (mostly downs) made me, me, made me learn how to treasure.

be it people or belongings.

i am happy that i hadn't grown into a spoilt brat or turned into one.

because i've seen people change when they simply follow the flow, from down to earth, lovable, to superficial, materialistic or we should just put it as spoilt.

changes are inevitable, i change too.

i tend to wear a mask before people, i use blunt words, to defend myself.

every morning before i leave my comfort zone, i think about how i'm gona pull through another day, pretending.

every time i talk to people, i think about what should i say, should i just shut up and pretend to be interested or just snap at whatever i'm unhappy about.

i am really having those lousy days when all i do is pondering deep in thoughts and being completely oblivious to the surrounding.

i am amazed how fake i use to be, how pretentious i can get.

i now learn to understand me, i understand pretending is vital in this state of affairs, why changes are essential. 

complex human minds, complex human behaviour.

school is starting to make me realise.

p.s.: no one's better or superior of anyone.